I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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