Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
