If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
