So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
