Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
