you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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