I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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