I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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