His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
