We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
