So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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