whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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