Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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