I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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