My room smells like vodka and shame
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize