would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
