May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Holy sore nipples Batman
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
