we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
