So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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