Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
