whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
