you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
