I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
