if only i could text you this smell
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
