I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize