I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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