i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
