I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
