she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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