That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
