so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
