I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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