NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
