I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize