i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
