we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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