I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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