Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
