I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
