Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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