you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
