Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
kristin has been a bad kristin
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
