Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We just shotgunned beers for America
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
