my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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