Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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