stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
