Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
