we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
A+ Viking dick
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
