She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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