i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
