I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
