So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
