I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
