I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
