so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
