It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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