I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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