I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
