Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
